I’ve managed to be absent for more than 16 months this time. It certainly isn’t my first hiatus, and it probably won’t be my last, but I think it has been the longest. Sorry about that.
Medical problems have been getting worse, and every time I started feeling better something else would pop up. But I’ve been feeling better for a while now, so I’m going to give it a shot at coming back. Hopefully, I’ll be able to stick around longer this time.
For those of you that are interested, my problems are mostly complications from diabetes. Most people think that having diabetes means that you can’t have jam on your toast. Ten years ago, I thought the same thing. It is actually a nerve disease that, among other things, can both fail to report pain and report pain that isn’t there. And despite those ridiculous commercials with the guy rubbing his foot, when I say pain, I don’t mean like stepping on a Lego. I mean pain like driving a white-hot poker through your foot (and your leg, back, side, hands, arms, etc). Diabetes is also the number one leading cause of both amputations of feet and hands, and of blindness in adults. Further, diabetes is not just something that fat people get. In fact, every single person I know who has diabetes was first diagnosed as a healthy, active, weight-appropriate person. The #1 most prescribed medicine for diabetes is insulin. The #1 most reported side-effect of insulin is weight gain (usually massive weight gain). In general, you do not get diabetes from being fat. You get fat from the treatment for diabetes. And no matter how much you exercise and eat right, insulin also prevents weight loss.
Personally, I’ve been dealing with: daily, mind-numbing pain where just getting out of bed is a success story, volumes of pain meds to fight the pain which by themselves make it hard to function, lack of feeling in my fingers which makes it difficult to type or do much of anything, and hemorrhaging of my eyes which is scary as hell. The latter problem is treated with monthly injections directly into each eye. On top of that, I have stenosis of my lower lumbar vertebra, causing them to pinch nerves which causes additional constant pain in my leg, back and side.
All this kept me in bed, off and on, for a great many months, slathered with icy hot and sleeping with a heating pad. The only thing that really helps is to soak in a scalding-hot bath. But a bath cools off too quickly to warrant the difficulty of getting into and out of the tub. A hot tub would be a life-saver (literally) but I can’t afford one and the process of getting to and returning from the gym more than offsets the benefit of using their hot tub. I just have to hope that eventually the lottery will pay off : )
Anyway, I decided that if I don’t come back now, and write during the pain-free moments, I would probably never come back. So, I’m giving it a try and we’ll see how it works out. The nice thing about blogging, is that you can write when you feel up to it and take a break when you don’t. Not having to work under a deadline makes all the difference.